CLASSIC SLASHERING

Alice, Sweet Alice (Communion) (1976)

Plot: In a rundown neighbourhood, New Jersey, Karen (A very young Brooke Shields) is preparing for her first holy communion.  Older sister Alice (Paula Sheppard) is jealous of the attention Karen tries to spoil things for her, threatening her and locking her in a room of an abandoned warehouse while wearing a raincoat and fucking creepy plastic mask.  

Err Guilty

 The day of the communion Karen is brutally killed in the church during the ceremony and because Alice takes her place wearing her veil, the suspicions falls on the deeply troubled child, especially from her aunt Annie (Jane Lowry) who really fucking hates her niece.  After she is attached by the masked psycho this escalates. 

Their mother Catherine (Linda Miller) is traumatised by the death of her youngest but she and her husband Dom (Niles McMaster) refuse to believe Karen is responsible and Dom investigates the murder. 

It doesn't help that Alice is a mental bitch spends her days killing little animals and putting curses on people, throw in a obese potential peado landlord and we have a messed up situation going on. 

I'm looking for Donald Sutherland

Is it good:  Yes, A low budget but high value thriller/horror/slasher.  It isn’t a true slasher film in the sense of say Black Christmas but you can see how the cold silent knife wielding, mask wearing, killer would have an influence on the genre.  Paula Sheppard (Although strangely 19 at the time playing a 12 year old) is brilliant as the disturbed Alice, giving a believable performance. 

All of the actors put up good performance especially Alphonso (Alphonso DeNoble) as the fat perverted landlord. 

The subject matter is disturbing both the murder of a small child and that it’s potentially by her own sister.   

Turdige: Although the acting is good the screaming seems fake especially the mother it gets on your tits but this is a staple of 70s films they all seem like this.  

Some people would say it has ripped chunks out of the superior Don't Look Now (1973) mainly the iconic, creepy rain coated small people (Its yellow completely different) but don’t let it put you off.

  

If a fuckin dog can win BGT so can I

I watched this film when I was very young (probably a bit too young) and the stairwell scene scared the shit out of me I had nightmares of a knife through the foot for years (I still look around now when I walk down one).  Later I actually forgot about this movie and thought it was a scene from Don't Look now, so when I watched that again I thought I had dreamt it.  

It was only when I had no internet and blockbuster had gone bust I was going through my sisters DVD collection.  I by by-passed the even more terrifying Mamma Mia & found this played it and I wasn’t mad after all, Now that shit anecdote is out of the way.......  

Overall:   A little known Horror masterpiece. suspense and atmosphere to spare.  Don’t miss out watch it. 

Director: Alfred Sole Cast: Linda Miller, Mildred Clinton, Paula E. Sheppard, Niles McMaster , Jane Lowry, Brooke Shields

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Riddick (2013) Update

Riddick 

13 years ago David Twohy brought us the excellent Mid budget Sci Fi Pitch Black (2000) and along with it a new Anti hero in Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel).  

Unfortunately 4 years later he gave us the much bigger budget The Chronicles of Riddick (2004) and with it the Necromongers the Necroverse and various other Necrobollocks.

Hopefully Mr Twohy will sack that shit off 

From what I have read looks like a cross between Pitch Black (back on a supposed desolate planet with killer aliens and the best parts of  Chronicles the mercenary stalking. 

Also starring - Karl Urban, Jordi Molla, Matt Nable, Katee Sackhoff, Bokeem Woodbine, Dave Bautista, Conrad Pla, Raoul Trujillo, Nolan Funk and Keri Hilson. 



Teaser

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=101898

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VIDEO GAME MOVIES

The king of fighters (2010)

Plot:  Something about an alternate dimension were people go to have a rumble.   Plot we don't need no stinking plot just a set up for some fighting.  Rugal (Ray Park) aims to do devious bollocks to gain power, changing the rules and becoming king of that dimension, poisoning our own.    Mai Shiranui (Maggie Q),  Kyo Kusanagi (Sean Faris) and  Iori Yagami (Will Yun Lee) are the only ones who can stand in his way, plus some CIA dude who turns out to be Mai's partner s shes undercover for some reason and wearing a hat helps............. Oh Ive lost the plot.

Is it good: No, Even by video game adaptations this is bad but it had potential,  The film had a budget, named action stars like Maggie Q & Sean Faris plus Darth Maul himself Ray Park.
 The CGI effects are not that bad.  The action is choreographed well (if a little slow) and some nice moves put in. 

The opening scene Maggie Q's game character is reviled as the, incredibly short mini skirted with suspenders, Mai (awesome).  Plus the other fighting chicks are pretty hot.

 Will Yun Lee actually looks like a computer generated character.

Turdige: A confusing pretty pointless plot.  This does not in itself spoil an action movie (pretty much expected as plots are not a regulatory requirement) but it spends far too much time trying to indulging in it.  

The end were most of the action takes place is confusingly & boring rather than just a Good V Evil battle.

Bizarrely in the flash back scene Sean Faris was Asian when he was younger.  Now he looks like a cross between a young Tom Cruise (needing a shit) and Jay from the Inbetweeners. 

These tournament/martial arts movies should be easy to make get a bunch of kick ass fighters with killer moves, do some basic pointing "look this guy is good these guys are evil" (or just make them look good/evil)  set them in a tournament together with an objective to win (world will end or something weird like kidnap an elephant The Protector (2005)) and spend an hour of the movie just fighting, that's what people who go to these movies want to see. 



Overall:   Worth a look if your only other option is the next Adam Sandler atrocity.  Watch Tekken (2011), Mortal Kombat (1995), or even Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009) & DOA: Dead or Alive (2006) instead.  On a brighter note its not House of the Dead (2003) bad.

 Director: Gordon Chan Cast: Ray Park, Maggie Q, Sean Faris, Will Yun Lee, David Leitch

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Slice em up - Slasher Movies

Venom (2005)


Plot: A car accident that leads to the death of a Voodoo priestess who's unfortunately just dug up & is trying to transport (for a reason never revealed) a suitcase full of sucked out evil souls in the form of dodgy CGI snakes.  She is pointlessly saved from her car dangling over the side of a bridge (Since she dies anyway) by big redneck trucker Ray (Rick Cramer) as he attempts to retrieve the suitcase the car falls into the swamp and Ray drowns while being bitten by the snakes.

The town seems to consist be lacking in people, only a rapper Method Man (Deputy Turner) a few Jailbait scrubbers Patty (Davetta Sherwood) and Tammy (Bijou Phillips), Rays bastard son Sean (D.J. Cotrona), some cock, Ricky (Pawel Szajda) and at first glance the heroes of the film CeCe (Meagan Good) as the voodoo granddaughter, Rachel (Laura Ramsey) a wannabe doctor who wants out of the town and Eric (Jonathan Jackson) the dude Rachael has just dumped in order to fuck off from the swampy shithole. 


From that you can probably work out the order they die, or you could if this wasn’t a slasher with a difference.  Ray returns from the grave a super voodoo  powered zombie fuck, able to kill cocky teenagers with a single twatting of a crowbar.  Filled with the power of 13 evil souls can the kids stay alive long enough,  if only there was a guy called Gerald to battle Voodoo Ray (madchester joke).   

Not that Venom

Is it good: Yes, at first look and the plot above you would be mental to watch this shit but it works?  It helps if you’re a slasher fan like me obviously, but it does have an accessible feel to the movie much like the 90s slasher films Scream (1996) and I know what you did last summer (1997) Kevin Williamson writer/producer & Director  Jim Gillespie were involved in those films. 

or that Venom

For a pretty unknown straight to DVD film it has high production values none of your found footage shaky cam crap.

Venom has a decent level of gore, some inventive deaths, the acting is ok and the introduction of a new villain is always good.

I did like the way it wasn’t just a slasher but added the supernatural element in to make Ray seem unstoppable and the use of the truck as a weapon, great stuff. 

The using someone as a makeshift voodoo doll was brilliant but they could have made it really messy to get the most out of it.

Jesus Christ Superstar

Turdige: Not exactly a brutal slasher, the movie is too polished, cleaned up for the teen market, not an unrated video nasty like the early 80s slashers.  So the gore level, which lets face it, is the big draw in a supernatural slasher flick is lacking.

Screaming that will help

Also why the fuck when Ray was hit or shot did he keep doing a reverse star jump, weird.  The film was absolutely panned by critics and an 8% rating on rotten tomatoes is not good so I could be wrong, but what the fuck do they know

Overall:   On the whole a basic by the numbers slasher but with a supernatural voodoo twist thrown in for a bit of variety.   

Director: Jim Gillespie Cast: Agnes Bruckner, Jonathan Jackson, Meagan Good, Bijou Phillips, Method Man

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